STOP

 Incident

• Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional)

Tension Building

• Abuser starts to get angry

• Abuse may begin

• There is a breakdown of communication

• Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm

• Tension becomes too much

• Victim feels like they are 'walking on egg shells'

Making-Up

• Abuser may apologize for abuse

• Abuser may promise it will never happen again

• Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse

• Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims

Calm

• Abuser acts like the abuse never happened

• Physical abuse may not be taking place

• Promises made during 'making-up' may be met

• Victim may hope that the abuse is over

• Abuser may give gifts to victim

Remember, domestic violence is rarely a one-time event.  Once the cycle is starting, unless the abuser seeks help, the cycle is likely to continue.